Frail illusions

.

So many words

Are said with intent.

So many lives

Are lived beneath

The shadow of

Cryptic meaning.

So many lies

Are disguised

As truth.

How many times

Have I lied and

Meant it,

Believed it,

Like I could speak it

Into existence? Yet

A lie is a type of debt;

The more we tell,

The more debt we

Incur to the truth.

And when the veil slips -

The heaviness of reality

Floats up from beneath

Cold, murky depths.

.

The glass shatters

And sprays in

Scattered shards

Sweeping through,

Like broken

Sunbeams peering

Through grey clouds

To illuminate the

Ground below.

.

And your words

Puddle on the

Surface and get all

Muddled up,

As you push

And push, desperately

Trying to make them

All go away.

.

But time is running out,

The light is starting

To shine through

The broken window,

And all that’s left

Lurking behind your walls,

Which you so

Agonisingly built, is

This dizzying loneliness,

That cripples you;

And the blood

Pours out of you,

Your thrashing attempts

To close the wound

Remain futile, and

They’re watching you now.

.

No more

Easy anonymity.

No more quiet lies

Left to hide behind.

They’re watching you.

---

I’m more me when I’m alone, anyway.

These eyes that gleam through

The cracks in my walls and see

Straight into my raw flesh,

Fill me with the deepest dread

I have ever known.

.

I’d rather be a drop

In an endless sea.

A dandelion in

Limitless fields.

An ant marching

Forward, one part

Of a collective.

Small, and

Inconspicuous.

I want to be

Obscure.

Found only by

Refracting light

At a certain angle.

I’d rather lurk in

Hidden corners

Than have light

Shine down

Onto the glass shards

That encircle me,

Pricking and poking,

And cutting into

My weary skin.

---

I can’t surrender to the fear of being seen,

Can’t let it wash over me, till I come out clean.

Can’t feel the feeling, and hide myself from righteous eyes,

Can’t gaze out the window, or drop my tired disguise —

It’s all just

A frail illusion,

And now it fades out -

To black.

---